mid-year writing reflection

[permutative]

with the completion of just like another season, i figured it would be a good idea to reflect on the "goals"/"plans" posts i've written this year. this includes writing plans [??], 2021 goals, and my goals from my 2020 year in fic wrap-up.

my writing plans from march

here's a summary of how things have been going:

• derangism fic exchange - jay/jungwon, [redacted] au: i finally posted just like another season and i'm really pleased with how it turned out... even if it was two months late LOL
• love so sweet - jay/jungwon, knitting club au: i think i'll always be surprised by the reception for heart shaker but it has "popular tropes" and it's more fun/lighthearted so i guess i shouldn't be That surprised. lol i just don't get why people like this fic sometimes
• to your side again - jay/jungwon, uni au: last date edited is february 20th... maybe i'll post this onto dreamwidth because i am not interested in it at all anymore T__T
• fire on fire - heeseung/jay, idolverse: i posted AUTOMATON and like yes it's terrible but whatever. i don't care i just wanted it out of my google drive
• jake/sunghoon, idolverse: idk how interested i am in writing about jake sim... again the gdoc hasn't been edited for months

so 3/5 isn't that bad, honestly. i've also managed to stick with the same fandom instead of randomly jumping ship to another group (although i have developed an interest in THAI BL RPS..), so that's been nice.

my post-2020 "goal-setting"

some of my goals are like... well i have no clue whether i'm making progress on these goals or not! but i'll try my best to "reflect" and reevaluate my priorities lmfaoo

• write 24 or less fics this year

i've been trying to post two or less fics for month and tbh i've kept to that goal pretty well if we're just looking at the fics i posted on predebut.

• 100k wordcount

i've written 66.8k which is like... well i'm pretty much on track. i don't actually care about hitting this threshold though considering that less is more sometimes

• [done] please just write a fic that’s between 5k and 20k

i started writing a lot of fics that are between 10k and 20k which i'm really happy about!! idk it's just easier for me to make the story more tight and cohesive if the wordcount is less than 20k. that being said i lowkey want to write a longfic... but also i don't. but also i do? you see what i'm saying

• write for fandom: cravity

i no longer have any interest in doing this LOL. so sorry

• write for pairings:
  • enhypen: [done] sunghoon/sunoo, jake/sunghoon, heeseung/jungwon, [done] jungwon/jay
  • txthypen: taehyun/sunghoon
  • txt: yeonjun/soobin, soobin/kai
  • cravitxt: taehyun/taeyoung

wow... it's pretty clear that my taste in pairings has changed significantly lol. i'm still into jakehoon but i'm not interested in heeseung/jungwon (except for in a platonic context) and &*$&%(#%... okay i still like taehoon but YEONBIN? SOOKAI? this is so funny

• write these tropes: secret relationship, modern royalty, produce 101/i-land

lol idk. i wish i could come up with better AU ideas but i lack so much creativity... i think this is why defaulting to idolverse is so easy for me.

• write these settings: europe, somewhere i’ve never traveled before, asia but outside of korea

yeah i also did not do any of this. HELP

• write a fic with ot3 poly stuff

yeah i didn't do this and honestly i don't even have any ships where i'm interested in [all of them dating] as much as i'm interested in [them triangulating weirdly with each other]... besides jakehoonsun i guess. hemmmm.....

• if i write another explicit fic, i sure hope that the explicit part of the fic is relevant to the plot. i dont have the mental strength for another plotless… thing

oops! pwp is so much easier to write idek

• [done] writing another explicit fic (lol)

self-explanatory.

• continue taking risks, trying new tropes, and doing new things in general!

this is so optimistic but it's like.. i have not been doing that at all, actually!? i really do have a tendency to write and revisit the same things. HELP

• a long slow-burn fic that's like 30k+, why is reciprocity still my longest fic on ao3. kind of hesitant about this goal because length =\= quality BUT STILL

see what i said above re: longfics

• get a better handle on my strengths and weaknesses as a writer. i sometimes have a vague sense of this but i don’t reflect enough on my writing’s objective qualities i think. i kind of want to try soliciting concrit via cc or a dreamwidth anon meme post or something…? but fandom is so anti concrit nowadays sigh

$^&#@*@%& okay this is a hard one. i think i do have a better handle of what i'm good at, kind of, and i do know that things like humor and dialogue and stuff are not necessarily my strong points!? but it still feels really vague to me right now

• get better at distinguishing dialogue between different characters. i feel like i’m good at this for, like, maybe taegyu and that’s it… hence my obsessive vlive watching.

screaaam i am so terrible at this. actually the only time i felt like i did dialogue well is whenever i write jay-centric fic set in kr because i feel like his speech patterns are so distinct to me... his "oh my god"s and "갑자기"s and "yah"s and random hissing while he thinks of an answer before speaking... it's just so Him.

• more natural/less boring (?) dialogue in general. asdf

again, idk. i think i do try and make it natural even if it's not super distinct characterwise?

• using setting details, physical descriptions, and sensory details outside of like… seeing things/sometimes hearing things. idk sometimes i feel like i get so wrapped up in the characters and conversations that the fic is just set in this wordcloud dialogue haze and no one knows where we are

okayy i think i've actually gotten a lot better at this n___n i think i have to credit my movie/ITSAY watching for inspiring me like this

• BODY LANGUAGE. i always forget about this one especially when i'm balancing show vs tell

i feel a lot better about this than i used to, as well!! again i feel like it's because i watch more media now + i've also started interacting with people (outside of my family) IRL again... LOL

• being funny is so difficult but i want to improve my humor <3

outside of MISS HEART SHAKER idk. i feel like i'm okay with being unfunny now though

• get better at evoking specific moods/be more purposeful with wtheck im writing as an author. there were some things i wrote where i was like “idek what i’m going for here” moodwise & tonewise and i just. being intuitive does not come easy to me at all, i don’t trust my “instincts”

lol i was talking about this with rose the other day but i actually think i've become more instinctive as a writer instead of just planning everything out to the last detail beforehand!? like it's a lot easier for me to go with my gut and sort of ... trust that i'll figure things out eventually T___T

• get better at making my short fics more meaningful!? like i've read so many quality short fics by nct writers and i know it's possible >__<

idk i've been pretty happy with my shortfics actually... i think giving them the proper space/time to rest just like my longer fics definitely helps!

where i'm at right now

i feel like i've reached this place where i'm like... i don't feel the need to write anything? there are few ships that compel me as much as jaywon do, and after writing four jaywon fics this year (~45k of fic in total) i'm kind of just like "what more is there to say!!!" LOL. and seeing the way the enhypen ficdom has been growing recently, with good fics being posted every week, i just feel like... it's not like i need to do anything anymore. not like i needed to do things before, but like, do you get what i mean!? the other ships i like (heejay, chenji, etc.) already have great writers and i'm just like. pretty happy to not write for now... who knows how i'll feel a couple weeks from now though!

i think one of the big things i'm still struggling with is writing explicit fic. i want to be able to write an explicit fic where the sex is like... a part of the plot? important to the story? every other issue i have (besides being funny, which i don't necessarily care about) feels like something i can improve on with time/practice, and i guess writing explicit fic IS the same but like *#(&^#$&% it's kind of embarrassing for some reason!!!! whatever i'll get there one day.

so yeah. hopefully this summer i successfully participate in kpop-ficmix and write rated e fic without losing it... and other than that i don't have much else planned besides maybe a jaywon ship primer LOL

the wips i have at the moment

5.5k — heejay canon compliant thru_the_years fic

• well i think it’s interesting to write BUT the fact that i know someone else is writing a heejay canon compliant fic decreases my motivation by 500%. also SANGWON???? lol

6k — jaywon uni au, the “what if jaywon were extremely awkward strangers with each other” fic

• i actually don’t have that many feelings about the concept so far and there’s some weird heejayisms already taking place…
• i think it's an interesting take on the jaywon dynamic though so idkkk. might have to keep thinking about this one <3

Comments

[girlrock]

honestly your progress on your goals IS inspiring to me <333 and we've already discussed most of this but of course i relate to not really feeling like i have to write anything... good luck on the E FIC though and i support your non-luvityisms 🥰🥰🥰

also "okay i still like taehoon but YEONBIN? SOOKAI? this is so funny" WEREN'T U LIKE YEONBIN IS STILL (HYPOTHETICALLY) OKAY LIKE A WEEK AGO???? screaming and crying but u know how i feel on this matter

[permutative]

I MEAN IDK I LIKE YEONBIN KINDA... IN THEORY.. MAYBE? idk who am i. anyways i support YOUR luvityisms and good luck with the minizsong thesis <33333 T___T maybe I'll write some e fic this summer but i have no clue at this point lol