a quick post (september 2021)

[permutative]

tv shows:

i don't think i watched anything this month LMFAO

movies:

maurice - yes i understand the hype now T___T so glad i watched it and i think rupert graves is perfect

steve jobs - sorry for being aaron sorkin fan

good will hunting - A CLASSIC!!!! with some jokes that didn't age well. but also ofc i have a soft spot for math/things set in boston so <3

moonlit winter - slow and moving and good yet weirdly mid at the end of the day. also sohye and her little boyfriend were my fav part of the movie

shang-chi and the legend of ten rings - it's a marvel movie. but also tony leung <3

judas and the black messiah - DANIEL KALUUYA!!!!!!!!! this was good

the world of us - definitely my favorite movie of the month, really cut deep and idk kids are mean sometimes. and it's brutal out here

music:

total scrobbles: 843

avg per day: 28

top artists:

1. sadness (54)

2. stray kids (53)

3. stay-c (44)

4. itzy (34)

5. abir (31)

top tracks:

1. yacht - abir (29)

2. fruity - hyolyn (27)

3. stereotype - stay-c (22)

4. slow down - stay-c (13)

5. pacemaker - stray kids (12)

yes i went to college and stopped listening to music. actually i'm starting to listen to it a bit more now because i'm constantly studying but like KHDKAJSG there was a solid week when i had 0 scrobbles because of my 5-day camping trip and then having orientation. ALSO SADNESS IS LITERALLY THAT SERIOUS!!!!!! idk why i randomly decided to get into ambient "blackgaze" shoegaze music but it's really nice for walking, biking, studying, etc.

books:

ummm okay so i requested some books from the university library and it was so funny because ofc i requested ya books (i am not trying to "challenge" myself mentally rn) and they were all from the EDUCATIONAL LIBRARY!!! sorry i'm just imagining all of my books nice and cozy with the curious george shit or whatever. anywaysss i've been slowly reading concrete rose by angie thomas!! it's fun and i enjoy angie thomas as an author in general but yeah haven't had much time for reading. also lowkey im burnt out i can't believe i've read 70 books already this year...? if i get to 75 by the end of 2021 that might be nice *__*

also i just read the vanessa hua short story from crys's roundup and HJKJHDAJKGHJSKHAG. anyways

writing:

okay so ficmix is something that i posted! and yeah, idk, it was definitely a challenge writing it because i'm not very familiar with jayhoon and my writing style (serious, boring, a drag, etc) is so different from 20cubed's T___T but i think it went ok. and i will definitely not be writing anything else any time soon.....

personal:

where do i even start!!! i feel like so much has happened in the past month. i'm just going to go by bullets because that's easier lol

- meetups: FIRST OF ALL!!!! i met up with kaia pulses girlrock and van lackadaisical deadtime before they left for school <3 it was so cool to see both of them in person. kaia showed me around town and we got the most delicious indian food and she also gifted me art prints to hang on my dorm wall and i'm just *__* forever grateful. and then seeing van in person made me remember that she was actually like... probably my first Real online friend during my markohmark phase??? and it's been like three years??? HJHDAJSKG and she drove me around (!!!!) and took me "plaza hopping" and i had really good dim sum and boba. ^__^ so yes that was amazing

- camping: soooo.... one of the preorientation options was going on a five day camping trip with no showers, no electronics, and barely any sense of what time it is... i'm really glad i got to experience camping for the first time. the hikes also weren't as physically strenuous as i was expecting (like, we'd do long distances, but we also took frequent breaks / had a lot of yummy food so it's not like i'd get that tired???? surprising win :D). i also feel like i really got to bond with the people i was camping with without electronics and having those late night convos or whatever. the worst part was definitely not being able to shower though like KJHKJSADHJG IT WAS TRULY SO ROUGH...

- thoughts on moving across the fucking country/adjusting to campus: okay so timezones are kind of annoying?? i feel like whenever i have free time it's like 10pm and my parents are asleep so i can't call them :'( also the weather takes a while to get used to -- it'll be super hot during the day for no reason but the mornings/nights are SO COLD?? like i just pack a sweatshirt in my backpack everywhere i go just in case T__T the sunnyness is nice though and i think it puts me in a better mood LOL. what else... oh yeah. biking around everywhere is kind of like. well it's fine but it's also kind of a lot, and i live very far away from everything (like on the edge of campus) so i Have to bike to go anywhere because otherwise i'd rack up like 30k steps and waste half the day on walking. i got into a bike accident already (it was my fault i'm just stupid but yeah i hit my head and Yes i wasn't wearing a helmet and Yes i missed my math class but whatever i'm not concussed and i learned my lesson. please wear your helmet KJHDKJASG) and i think biking has led to like.. random scars on my legs from when i have to lock my bike/random things scraping against me KJHDKJSAG but it's fine. i'm fine!!!

- classes: my math class is so fucking hard. i mean it's like what i signed up for, and so far the material is kind of (??) review ish but it's also just like extremely rigorous and the problem sets are hard and i'm just >. whatever it's fine. also kaia was like "why don't u take less units" BUT I'M LITERALLY UNDERLOADING UNITS JUST FOR THIS MATH CLASS!!!!!!!! but i'm still stressed. my other classes are really nice tho, like my writing class is abt antiracism and we had this discussion on identity and it was kind of like... fellas is it gay to be antiracist. because my whole class is majority poc & lgbt. and then i walk into my stem classes and the dudes smell so bad. OKAY ANYWAYS...

- anyways. sometimes i have bad nights and i feel like i'm missing out on things and i'm bad at making friends. but actually i do feel like i'm starting to get to know people, and i'm trying to be more proactive about meeting people!!!! i'm auditioning for acapella groups rn and i made it to the third stage for two groups and ahhh i just really want to get into one of them because the environment seems so nice.

- sometimes it feels surreal that i'm here right now and i feel really lucky and happy i'm not going to lie

- but anyways i wanted to complain so i will complain. MY BIGGEST COMPLAINT... is that everyone is so flaky here!!! like no one ever commits to plans and everything is kind of halfassed and i hate it. like can people just say "no" to something instead of saying "yes" but not following thru... that's like 10000% worse to me. i know it's just part of the "culture" or whatever (along with pretending that shit's fine when shit is not, in fact, fine) but i kind of hate it. but it's fine :)

- sometimes i feel like it's hard to open up to people though. but i'm working on it!!

Comments

[strayion]

yo i got so excited when i saw this pop up on my feed i was like SHAKTI !! esp after you accidentally ignored me on discord for 2 weeks

also all of your college updates were like !! wow i got so excited reading them daskfjl and can relate. i requested some YA books from my school library too and haven't touched them yet but i bought cloud cuckoo land by anthony doerr and hope i can... read that at some point.

why are you the nexus of all of our internet friendship meet-ups alskfjdl i guess going to college on another coast will do that to you.

[shakes] um if your math class is hard for you i can't imagine how i'd do in it <-- fortunately is not a math major so i can take the easy versions of linalg and diff EQ <3. the entire paragraph about bad nights and making friends was like. it's me except i'm not auditioning for an acapella group!! please tell me how your trip to san francisco goes and i hope i can stop being afraid of calling people in my room and i hope we (ecbc +c) can watch booksmart at some point...